SCENE 38
EXT – TOWN
(BORIS, GAVORDT, FRANCOPHILE, ALVIS)
FRANCOPHILE
Hoo-whee. Now those are monsters. I wish I’d created one of those beasties instead of that stupid hideous freak. What a dud that turned out to be, eh?
ALVIS
You did create one of those, baby.
FRANCOPHILE
Huh? What do you mean?
ALVIS
My penis lotion. I mean…your enlarging formula. It worked like Viva Las Vegas on that jive-talking spider.
FRANCOPHILE
What the hell…you’re not even trying to talk like Elvis. Wait, you mean I created that spider. Perhaps…I truly am a mad scientist now.
ALVIS
Aww, don’t be mad, baby. Don’t worry, be happy.
FRANCOPHILE GLARES AT ALVIS. SUDDENLY BORIS KNOCKS GAVORDT ONTO IT’S BACK. AS GAVORDT FALLS, IT CATCHES ALVIS WITH A GLANCING BLOW THAT SENDS HIM FLYING. ALVIS FALLS AND HIS GLUED BRAIN POPS OPEN. THE ELVIS PART GOES FLYING.
FRANCOPHILE
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
FRANCOPHILE DIVES IN SLOW MOTION THROUGH THE AIR. UNFORTUNATELY THE ELVIS BRAIN HALF HAS ALREADY SPLATTERED ON THE PAVEMENT BEFORE HE EVEN STARTS DIVING IN SLOW MOTION. HE STARTS CURSING AND SHAKING HIS FISTS IN SLOW MOTION UNTIL HE FINALLY HITS THE GROUND. HE GETS A LITTLE BRUISED AND SCRAPED.
FRANCOPHILE
Ow, dammit, dammit. Algore!
ALGORE SHAKES HIS HEAD. HE FLIPS HIS SKULL LID BACK DOWN AND STUMBLES TO HIS FEET. HE IS INEXPLICABLY DRESSED AS A HUMPBACK AGAIN.
ALGORE
Coming, master.
BORIS CRAWLS OVERTOP HIS DEFEATED ENEMY. HE HOLDS TWO OF HIS HANDS UP IN THE AIR TOGETHER LIKE A REIGNING CHAMPION.
BORIS
Boris wins! Meat!
BORIS STARTS TO MESSILY DEVOUR GAVORDT’S CORPSE. AS HE DOES SO, HE BEGINS TO SLOWLY START SHRINKING.
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